Screech Berries
by Machs
Summary: The Cap'n is in the business of the Berry Trade, but he'll learn that when you sail near Tortuga, you have to deal with the venomous Capt. Screech!


Screech Berries

By: muuphish

"It looks like milky seas ahead, captain"

"Good work, Mr. Pip. This shipment of my Crunch Berries must get to Porta Vallarta by the 23rd. We cannot allow for any delays. Full ahead, Mr. Pip!"

"Aye Aye!"

It's been 41 days at sea already…the trip from Crunch Island to Porta Vallarta is not for the feint of heart. I am a dedicated captain, and an even more dedicated merchant of my delicious Crunch Berries, which is part of a balanced breakfast, I may add, but even I get cold feet when venturing this close to Tortuga. We've had very little problem with pirates, but you never know. Those scoundrels are notorious for showing up when least expected, and especially when they are least wanted.

The Crunch Berry grows only on the island of Crunch, off the coast of Guyana, South America. From there, my ship, the SS Guppy, must past within a couple days range of Tortuga, the Pirate Island. The coves around Tortuga and other surrounding islands are filled with pirate corsairs and marauders, just waiting for a cargo ship to pass by, unsuspecting. My cargo is well publicized, and as such, I am in danger of running into any number of nutritious-but-healthy-cereal wanting thieves of the seas.

"Sir! SIR!"

"What is it, Pip?"

"A corsair is coming into view! Their flag is slowly being hoist….Sir! They're flag--it's the Slashing Bell!"

Great…The Slashing Bell…a white bell with a red slash through it on a black flag. The symbol of one of the most feared pirates to sail the ocean. Screech. Captain Screech of the Preppy Pirate Pack, of the island of Tortuga. They say he calls himself Screech because of the wail his former Captain let out when he slowly slit his throat during his successful mutiny of the Bayside, the flag ship of the Pirate navy. Truly a force to be reckoned with.

"Sir! What should I do! The corsair is coming this way, and fast!"

"Alright Pip, don't get your tights in a knot. Bring it about and drop the sails. We aren't a fighting vessel, so let's try to outrun him." A move of desperation, I know. Cowardly, but what else is one to do when faced with the options of either fighting and dying, or running and possibly getting away? I'd stand and fight, but someone thought it would be funny to fill the cannons with Crunch Berries and fire them at the HMS Cheerios, so needless to say, the cannons are merely ornamental now.

"They're matching speed and heading, captain!"

Of course they are. They heard about the shipment of Crunch Berries, and Pirates being greedy by nature, Screech is going to try to take our cargo. The Hell he is.

"Captain! They're catching up with us! We can't outrun him!"

"Alright, Pip. Sound the general alarm. All hands on deck! Prepare for a boarding party!" he wouldn't dare attack us with his cannons…he wants this shipment of my Crunch Berries intact.

The Bayside pulls near the SS Guppy, and several pirates swing across the gap. Planks are laid down as dozens of pirates pour onto its decks. Pirate and sailor fight back to back, no room to run. The sailors are outnumbered 2 to 1. Pistols sound and sabers clash as the fight for the control of the Crunch Berries begins. Suddenly, a man swings from a rope from the helm of the Bayside to the helm of the SS Gupy, and lands right beside Cap'n Crunch.

"Well well, Cap'n Crunch, we meet again."

"It would seem that way, Screech."

The two have met before, a lifetime ago it seems, back when Screech was serving first-mate aboard the Bayside. The two fought, and in the end Cap'n Crunch escaped alive, leaving his foe missing a hand.

"You left me quite a souvenir, Cap'n Crunch. This time, let us hope_ you_ are so lucky."

Swords clash as Cap'n Crunch and Screech lock in mortal combat. The bodies parry, thrust, and slice through the air. Swords dig into flesh as the two continue to fight. On the deck of the ship, bloodied sailor corpses lie motionless. Pirates swarm down to the holding chambers, ready to partake on bowl upon bowl of a well-balanced breakfast.

Suddenly, Screech's saber plunges deep into Cap'n Crunch's chest. His blue coat runs red as blood trickles down onto the deck. He slumps to his knees, and his blue two-pointed captain hat falls into the pool of blood.

"Well played, captain--or should I say _former_ captain--Crunch. I'm glad I could meet you again. You didn't disappoint me, Crunch, but now at the end of things, I feel I must confess: I've always liked Trix better."


End file.
